Love & Attraction

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”― Anais Nin

There are many reasons dating is an exciting time of the relationship.

First, you try to show your best version, you dress up for dates, make sure your breath smells good to show off your kissing skills and yes, you just work on looking your best and smelling your best from head to toe because tonight you might get the best sex of your life.

Second, Dating is exciting because you spend time together and it becomes the center of your life purpose. You check with your special someone what they like to do and you show interest in whatever they do because the only thing that makes you happy, its to see the other person happy and hopefully there is reciprocity . Finally, you show that you care. You remember all the good manners that you gotta display in front of that special someone. You are not going to burp out loud, you are not going to use the bathroom together, you just don’t eat with your mouth opened , you are courteous, cook their favorite meal in other words you please one another.

Then comes chapter 2 of your relationship. You get the deal and then your stop working on yourself. You eat junk and gain 20 pounds “out of no where” and suddenly has no energy to go to the gym or have sex. COVID 19 hits and now you are working from home so you decide that you don’t need to get dressed and the way you wake up its the way you are going to bed- with oily hair, pjs and smelling like I don’t know what. You don’t care about putting the toilet sit down and forget about closing the door when you are in there. You want to watch romantic comedy while the other one is just interested in other movie genres So instead of trying to compromise the differences, you criticize, go to your room and call someone else to talk to, you feel that your partner does not understand you, does not listen to you and no longer have a clue how to love you. Both of you stop communicating because you have the expectation that each "should" know how you want to be cared for since they were able to do that in the beginning of the relationship.

Now, You are there, wondering if you are better off alone since life “suddenly” became so boring. Where all the emotional connection and physical attraction you once had went? Well, I think by the end of this article you got the answer.

Long term relationship evolves as we individually change as well. If love and attraction are dying in your relationship is because there is a lack of nourishment and a false expectation that love and attraction are continues and happens without efforts. So before you give up on this relationship, ask each other -"What are the things I do for you that show that I love you? How would you like to be loved by me? How can we bring our passion back to this relationship'? ~Vanessa Waldron